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What is a death doula?

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What is a death doula?
A death doula (end-of-life doula) is someone who provides companionship, comfort, and guidance to those planning for death, diagnosed with a terminal illness, or facing imminent death. Doulas offer nonmedical holistic support encompassing emotional, spiritual, and practical care. Doulas offer resources to help the dying person and their circle of care to make informed decisions in a supportive environment.

Why should you consider one?
Doulas normalize deathcare by creating spaces to hold conversations leading to increased communication and increased spiritual and emotional well-being. When individuals plan for death, they have autonomy over their decisions and are able to clearly define their end-of-life wishes with family and loved ones. While there are alternative names for end-of-life doulas like death doula, death midwife, death coach, end-of-life coach—we all seek to provide compassionate deathcare.

What are the most requested demands of a Death doula?
Individual doulas offer different options depending upon their expertise and practice. Following are many of the options offered.

Provide the opportunity to speak openly and frankly about dying
Talk about creating an advance care directive
Explore the meaning of the dying person’s life and legacy
Discuss and support end-of-life care planning
Develop a plan for how the space looks, feels and sounds
Incorporate traditions or create new rituals to mark special moments
Encourage appropriate ways of touching the dying person
Bring a focused and intuitive presence to the bedside
Assist with physical and practical care to ease the burden on caregivers
Provide respite for exhausted caregivers
Explain the signs and symptoms of the dying process
Process the emotions and experiences with loved ones
Support the spiritual practices of all involved
Guide people through the early stages of grieving

Who are you advising people to reach?

INELDA: International End of Life Doula Association
https://inelda.org/find-a-doula/#:~:text=201%2D540%2D9049%20%E2%80%A2%20info@inelda.org

NEDA: National End of Life Doula Alliance
https://www.nedalliance.org/neda_members_by_name.html

death, death doula

Veteran’s Burial Benefits

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Veteran’s Benefits

The veteran’s discharge paper, known as the DD-214, is critical to accessing the services and products the veteran may be eligible for burial or cremation. A flag, marker or monument, burial in a VA cemetery, and military honors are benefits available to many veterans. You can visit the following link to determine what benefits the veteran may receive. All honorably discharged veterans will receive an American flag that can be displayed at their service.

https://www.va.gov/burials-memorials/#get-veterans-burial-benefits

advance directives, Baby boomers, Death planning, durable power of attorney, End-of-life planning, Estate planning, Funeral planning, hospice, Legacy planning, living will, palliative care, veteran, veteran burial benefit

The Death Certificate- Vital Statistic Information

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The death certificate is a legal document that is governed by state and local laws.

The funeral director is responsible to complete the death certificate with vital statistic information provided by the family (legal next of kin), or designee.

This essential information needed is available in the Pathway Planning Guide.

advance directives, Baby boomers, death certificate, Death planning, durable power of attorney, End-of-life planning, Estate planning, Funeral planning, hospice, Legacy planning, living will, palliative care

Social Security

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Social Security

Your Funeral Director typically will notify the Social Security Administration of a death. Currently, there is a one-time payment of $255 paid to a surviving spouse or dependent child.

For other eligibility information, contact Social Security at 1.800.772.1213 or the Social Security Administration website.

Sharing the News of a Death- How to Write an Obituary

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When you need to publicly notify others about the death of a loved one, you may be confused about:

the differences between an obituary and a death notice
the associated fees
what to write

In some cases, when someone has been particularly well-known, a brief version of their life story is published as an obituary in the newspaper.

For most people, a shorter death notice appears on the obituary page. It announces the death, lists relatives of the deceased, and provides details about the memorial arrangements. Sometimes, it also includes biographical information. Either way, the more content, the more expensive, because each newspaper charges a set fee per line, and fees vary widely among newspapers.

Peaceful Decisions Advisors are here to help you craft your obituary.

advance directives, Baby boomers, Death planning, durable power of attorney, End-of-life planning, Estate planning, Funeral planning, hospice, Legacy planning, living will, obituary, palliative care

Funeral Costs and Payment

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During the Arrangement Conference, the funeral provider will offer a price list. Per the Federal Trade Commission, every consumer must receive for their retention a copy of the funeral home’s General Price List when pricing is discussed or requested by the consumer. This document lists all of the current fees for services and prices for merchandise that a funeral home offers their client families.

When the arrangements are completed, the funeral provider will offer a Statement of Funeral Goods and Services Selected. This document provided all the services and merchandise selected. This document should be provided to you for review and acceptance prior to services being conducted.

[1] Federal Trade Commission, Complying with the Funeral Rule, August 2012.

How to pay for a funeral

This expense can be shocking to many families who are not prepared for a death. Are you prepared to answer the question; “how are you planning to settle the bill, today?

A Peaceful Decisions Advisor can educate you on the costs and payment options.

advance directives, Baby boomers, Death planning, durable power of attorney, End-of-life planning, Estate planning, funeral cost and payment, Funeral planning, hospice, Legacy planning, living will, palliative care

Funeral Products and Merchandise

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Funeral homes offer many types of products needed for a funeral or memorial service. Many people select the merchandise for their funeral at the funeral home. Caskets, outer burial containers, memorial packages, monuments are available for purchase at the funeral home. However, the ability to “shop” online has created opportunities to purchase funeral products directly.

Cremation Products

When selecting cremation as the final disposition, you should be aware that many states require the deceased to be placed in a “cremation alternative” container. This container can range from specialized cardboard to a wood casket. The intent is to provide dignity for the deceased and some safety to those handling the deceased.

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Urns

An urn is a vessel that will hold the cremated remains. The purchase of this item can be made at any time. The choices for urns are staggering; any on-line search will provide several options.

Peaceful Decisions offers ideas on unique urns, jewelry, art pieces, and innovative ideas for cremated remains.

Funeral Products

The necessary funeral products to purchase will depend on the type of service and disposition selected.

The following information from the Peaceful Decisions Advisors is meant to help you understand the products available.

Burial Caskets
Outer burial containers
Green burial products
Cremation alternative containers
Cremation urns
Memorial jewelry
Unique options for cremated remains

Note: the FTC Funeral Rule allows the consumer to purchase funeral products outside of the funeral establishment. The funeral professional must accept the delivery of any items purchased by the family/friends.

advance directives, Baby boomers, Death planning, durable power of attorney, End-of-life planning, Estate planning, Funeral planning, funeral products and merchandise, hospice, Legacy planning, living will, palliative care

FUNERAL PLANNING 101: The Arrangement Conference

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The Funeral Arrangement Conference

The Arrangement Conference is the time that you meet with the funeral provider to; plan, schedule and finalize decisions about the type of service, disposition, funeral products, sharing the news of the death, preparing the death certificate, and establish payment for service and products selected.

The Peaceful Decisions Advisors understand that this task is daunting and we are here to help you. Working one-on-one with an advisor or joining a class, the Peaceful Decisions team wants you to be educated about the funeral planning process before you need it.

Below are ideas and questions that are an important part of the arrangement conference.

Scheduling the service’s date and time
Creating the service
Who will participate at the service
A eulogy
The obituary or death notice
Merchandise to purchase
Business contract with the funeral provider and payment options

Peaceful Decision’s mission is to help educate and enlighten you to be empowered and prepared for this inevitable event.

advance directives, arrangement conference, Baby boomers, Death planning, durable power of attorney, End-of-life planning, Estate planning, Funeral planning, hospice, Legacy planning, living will, palliative care

Final Disposition

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The final disposition is a decision that may be made prior to death. The most common options include, earth burial, entombment, or cremation. The following information is offered as a primer about final disposition options.

Earth Burial
A cemetery is considered a sacred space for many people. It is a place to honor and remember their loved ones.

Peaceful Decision Advisors can offer guidance about burial options.

Natural Burial
A Natural or Green Burial site is one that does not allow embalming, outer burial containers, or monuments. Interest in this type of final disposition is growing.

The Peaceful Decision Advisors are available to help you with your questions.

Green Burial Council.

Entombment
A mausoleum is a building constructed to entomb the deceased. This building can house many deceased or it can be built for a single person or family.

The Peaceful Decisions Advisors are available to help you decide when an entombment is an option for you.

Cremation
More than half of Americans choose cremation as their final disposition choice. It is important to know that you can have a funeral service with the deceased present prior to the cremation. If you prefer to have a memorial service, the remains can be present at the service. What to do with the remains after the service? There are so many options to honor the deceased cremated remains.

Your Peaceful Decision Advisors can help guide you to the best decision for you and your family about cremation.

Alternative Disposition Options

The Peaceful Decisions Advisors are available to answer your questions about alternative types of dispositions.

advance directives, Baby boomers, Death planning, durable power of attorney, End-of-life planning, Estate planning, final disposition, Funeral planning, hospice, Legacy planning, living will, palliative care

Federal Trade Commission: THE FUNERAL RULE

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The Federal Trade Commission regulates the funeral industry nationally.

In the mid-1980s, the FTC began this oversight as a protection for the consumer. The “Funeral Rule” was written to establish guidelines for the funeral provider to give the consumer accurate information and disclosures on funeral goods, services, and pricing.

For detailed information about the consumers’ rights under The Funeral Rule, connect to this link:

https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0300-ftc-funeral-rule

advance directives, Baby boomers, Death planning, durable power of attorney, End-of-life planning, Estate planning, Funeral planning, funeral rule, hospice, Legacy planning, living will, palliative care